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Digital thinking and ecosystem

Standing at the end of the diving board

How many times did I wonder why I started this crazy project ? Why writing this book is taking me so long ? The book is almost finished and will be published on Amazon Digital Kindle platform end of March. I did not anticipate this endeavour to be filled with ups and downs, conflicting priorities, self doubts and fears.

A friend and writer laughed when I shared my frustration : “it is like having babies you would never have any if you’d realised the energy they take”.

Still, when I get stuck, I get mad at my lack of progress. I refuse to give up. I collected my thoughts to deep dive on my initial lack of awareness and realism. If you also happen to get stuck in the middle of your BIG life project pulling your hair and feeling miserable let me share the results of my soul searching.

I am forever grateful to my friend Vincent Benveniste for introducing me to Simon Sinek’s book “Start with why”. Following Sinek’s recommendations, I had done my homework to understand my own “why”. I did not dig deep enough to uncover my profound motivation. Once I accepted that I was driven as always in my life and career by learning continuously and self improving I felt relieved. I was following my strongest purpose and maybe my purpose will meet readers’ interest.

In the corporate world I was confident. I had reached a senior position through performance, soft and hard skills acquired the tough way. I was respected and happy to engage and lead others. As a complete rookie writer I am back to a beginner’s status. I read “how to”, talked to writers, professors but there is nothing like jumping into cold water. I stand at the end of the diving board dealing with the fear factor amplified by years of professionalism and search for excellence. Now I have to accept that this outcome will be flawed yet the experience gained invaluable.

My DNA of an over optimistic makes me think that nothing is impossible. This is how I achieved my best successes and made my worst mistakes. I have tried to be more circumspect but when it comes to personal choices the appeal to try out and take on new challenges always win over.

I keep finding myself standing at the end of the diving board.

Veronique Boudaud